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[17 Mar 2009|11:21pm] |
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Fuck. Fat again.
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[18 Feb 2009|01:42am] |
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I'm kind of convinced that I'm ugly.
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[15 Dec 2008|04:44pm] |
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It finally happened. And true to the way my luck works, a mere few days after I remarked on it. I had up until today, never been witness to or the cause of hitting an animal with a car. It was the worst thing I've ever experienced. And its hard to write about. I feel like I need to express just how horrific it was, but I don't want the details to be gratuitous. Waiting for the bus, I heard something jolting, can't even remember what it was, and when I looked to my right there was this cat. Convulsing off the ground to the extreme. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I started crying and looked around for someone to help. I didn't know what to do. He was in brutal shape and blood was flying out of his mouth and all I wanted to do was kneel down and try and calm him or stroke him but I couldn't. I had a hard time looking at him but it wasn't even an option to walk away from that. A couple walking by with their dog saw it too and they had the quick sense to go run for a vet at the vet hospital a block away. He ran, she stood with their dog and cried with me. In our own way, trying to comfort him by standing as close to him as we could. His face was broken. Pupils so fully dilated, teeth broken and mouth bloody and I can't get that face out of my head. I stopped traffic on that busy street and yelled at the assholes honking at me. I couldn't leave him. I wanted to touch him but I couldn't. His owner was brought out of her apartment by a neighbor and she was beside herself. I felt so fucking awful watching her be destroyed by her cat lying on the ground, then picked up and put in a bin and lightly covered with a blanket. She kept sobbing for him to wake up and be okay. He was still breathing when the vet came and took him down the street. I don't think there was any hope of him being okay. It took me a long time to stop crying. I absolutely never want to be witness to anything like that again.
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